My Unexpected Little Blessing

The surprise of a baby with Down syndrome – the story begins at the bottom of this page.

Family Photos & A Trip To Holland

on September 19, 2012

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Regan is 6 days old in these photos. Something changed for me the day that these pictures were taken. It was as if God were whispering in my ear – this is your daughter, and she is a gift. And that is how I see her. I don’t see DS, I see a beautiful, happy little baby girl. I see my daughter. And I love her so much, and could not imagine my life without her.

We accept, and love this little girl exactly the way she was given to us. But sometimes still struggle with letting go of the ideas we may have had in our heads prior to having her, of what our life would be like. Another mom in a similar circumstance described these emotions well.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

 The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

I definitely could not describe this feeling any better! I mean….she nailed it! I HAD to share this. So many people/messages/stories have helped me cope, and become reassured that everything is going to be alright. This story was definitely one of them. My goal is that this blog that I am currently writing, will help someone else someday. (Or hopefully many someones!) But even if it just opens the eyes of one person – it was worth it!

Regan is an amazing little girl, as are each and every baby that is created. And each one has a purpose here. That purpose may not be to become the best lawyer, or the fastest runner. But maybe just to give love unconditionally, and show the real meaning of life. I am confident that Regan is going to do that – and be dang good at it. Anything else that she does – well that is just a bonus!

“God does not make mistakes, or have accidents. He does things on purpose which may not fit into our own personal agendas. But when looked at in retrospect are far better than anything our agendas have to offer. Our baby girl is a blessing, a blessing wrapped in an unexpected package.”

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